January 23

Lilli de Jong
By Janet Benton

It has only been in the last few decades that women who conceive outside of marriage have not faced ostracism and their children not called bastards.  This would not seem so bad if the child's father received equal condemnation: society's scorn, assignment to a home for unwed fathers, fired from his job, or forced to quit school - but that is not the case today and it was not the case in 1880s Philadelphia.

This novel follows a Quaker woman who has just lost her mother, setting in motion an unhappy set of consequences. Within weeks, Lilli's father marries his cousin, who takes a disliking to his children.  Meanwhile, Lili's brother Peter (who works in their father's furniture shop) and the apprentice Johan decide to head west to try their hand at working in the Pittsburgh steel mills.  Johan and Lilli have just become engaged and he promises to write as soon as they have an address.  Several months elapse and not only is there no news from Johan and Peter but Lili discovers she is expecting Johan's child.  Lilli has already been fired from her position as a teacher in a Quaker school due to her father's indiscretions and, when she begins to show, is ordered out of the house by her stepmother.  Lilli is fortunate to find The Haven, a decent facility for "honorable" unwed mothers.  Lilli comes to know other mothers who are also abandoned by the men in their life but, unlike them, Lilli cannot bear to give up her child for adoption - not only because she quickly bonds with her little daughter, but also because she realizes that most babies adopted out in her day are consigned to "baby farms" (where babies are taken in by paid wet nurses) and they rarely survive infancy.  Lilli struggles to find work to support herself and little Charlotte, finding temporary employment as a wet nurse, but then sinking to desperation and willing to do almost anything to keep her daughter.

While Lilli's plight is finally resolved in the end, this novel sheds important light on the options faced by unwed mothers throughout history.  Today, all too many unplanned pregnancies end in abortion.  But for those like Lilli who choose to keep their babies, even if they are unplanned or outside of a relationship, how can we help? For starters, I think I will try to be an encourager. Healthy, happy, well-educated children are in everyone's best interests.